Reflecting

So I’ve been at this line business for 6 now and I wounder why haven’t I made a go of it, well there’s a lot of factors to that one of them being, I was born with a leaning disabled that’s call dislexcia. Which means I can’t read or write very well.

My reading has improved over the year as I learn  visually so I am able to recognise words by the pattern of letters and  the content of the word in that sentence.

I don’t know how to write a sentence or paragraphs. As I cannot see it visually in my head, unlike a painting. For the  contention in my brain just not work. It’s like there are many rooms in your brain that are inchage of the different section. Well in my case a lot of those different departments can’t communicate with each other. And so more departments are bigger than other or simply don’t exists at all.

For me it has taken a long time for my brain  to aquemlat the visual memories of so many words. But you can’t remember all the word in the English language, not even the normal person.

And in resent years me and my family are sure that I’m on the artistic spectrum. As both of my brothers are. And when I was child it wasn’t looked for in girls. I defiantly have the characteristic. They just manifest in different ways.

Which also make things more difficult, as I am a worrier. Not bing able to fallow group conversations and in reading body language. The social queue that many people take for granted. I don’t like new situations and meeting strangers. I take longer to understand a person, as I never saw the point of gaining loads of friends. An why was it that they were always updating each other and falling out. I don’t understand it. I know I’m hard to read some times, that’s because I  really don’t know what is happening or what to do.  Sorry but i am  some time oblivious to what is going on around me.

I don’t like Lying. If you what it have Laugh look up Amy Schumer growing up and gross. She describe her husband and his total honesty. It point out one of the best and the worst of thing about being a person on the spectrum. That’s manly on her understanding of a male perspective. I know I’m rambling I tend to do that when I writing, it just come out in one very long ramble. With no beginner, a strange middle and trying to make it it the end. This is again the dyslectic. I keep going back on what I have already written, adding to it, changing it and going o that’s wrong. At lot of what’s here doesn’t work well together. But that’s one of the reasons I started this blog was to help in prove my writing.

 

As I’ve grown older I’ve  become more sin-cal of life because people do take advantage of the trusting and innocent. So don’t think she’s stupid. O she’s a little girl.

I’m going to be 30 this year, 30 people. Yes I look look like I’m only in my early 20’s but that down to the fact that I’ve never smoked a day in my life. I don’t  see the point of wearing makeup (i have very sensitive skin) and very high cheekbones.

I’m not a cut throat businesswoman but I do aspect to be paid of my works worth. In any skilled trade craft person. I did go to college to learn this trade (at one of the only cottage in the world that teaches it) in saddlery from the saddlers guild and you can look a the other equations I have. An a strong believe in caring is century old trade in to the future. And in the use of quality material. But that’s for a for a blog for the future. So that’s me done of the night. Who ever you are. Even if it for me alone.

 

 

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